Pacific Rim: Monstrous New Footage Debuts

Pacific Rim, this summer's effects-infused epic depicting monolithic mechs battling mega-monsters has officially released some brand new footage that was originally meant only to be seen by attendees at Anaheim's WonderCon this week.

Fueled by the heralded surreal directorial visionary, Guillermo del Toro, the film is an action-amped visual feast depicting a future where a portal beneath the Pacific Ocean has unleashed menacing monsters called Kaiju, whose insatiable urge for wanton destruction of humanity's cities, nay humanity in general has forced the population to band together to create an innovative way to combat the colossal creatures inspired by Japanese fiction: Giant freaking robots. Controlled by two internally-located pilots by a neural connection mimicking movements, the robots, called Jaegers are mankind's last hope against these misanthropic monstrosities. -- Of course, that hope will be dependent upon a duo of upstart protagonists in a washed-up former pilot named Raleigh Becket (Charlie Hunnam) and a cute-but-deadly greenhorn in Mako Mori (Rinko Kikuchi), who must work through the kinks of their new partnership take the fight to these d**kish destructors...with a battleship baseball bat to the side of their heads.

The footage is nothing short of sublime and despite the initial intent to keep it exclusive to the Con goers, Del Toro must have realized that the pure potential it has to drum-up excitement in a hugely-competitive summer movie season could not go to waste by playing the secrecy game. The clip also provides us with our first substantive close-up glimpse of a Kaiju creature and certainly, they appear to be some of the toughest, most tremendously tenacious titans to wreck a major metropolis since Godzilla first ravaged Tokyo without getting his back zipper stuck.

Pacific Rim cancels the apocalypse with giant robots who aren't afraid to use foreign objects when it smashes its way to theaters on July 12. Check out the stunning new WonderCon footage below!

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Star Wars: Episode VII: Carrie Fisher Confirms Return...Again

Star Wars: Episode VII apparently has locked down Carrie Fisher for a return as an older version of Leia, our favorite rifle-waving Alderaanian Princess. -- At least, that's what the actress once-again confirmed at the Calgary Comic Expo over the weekend to a large crowd of fawning fans.

The road towards getting to the point of this confirmation has certainly not been without its peculiar moments. Fisher supposedly dropped the news nearly two months ago in a seemingly casual fashion to a local Palm Beach, Florida publication; a tidbit that was picked up across blogs and mainstream news outlets globally, only to later have a publicist retract the confession with the explanation that "she was joking." However, Fisher's comments to the fan community at Calgary was either more "joking," or a concession that she essentially did already reveal what is increasingly being considered one of the weakest casting secrets in Hollywood. Starting with comments on the franchise's new Disney overseers, Fisher states:

“I like being bought by Disney, because they never wanted to buy me before,” she said during a talk at the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo. “I’m glad they are doing a new movie because they are sending a trainer to my house so I can get in really good shape. So I’m really eating a lot of sugar in advance, as you can see. By the time I really get down to it I will have eaten everything.”

Thus, barring another bizarre retraction, the return of Carrie Fisher to the Star Wars fold seems to be set in stone...err, Carbonite. While it's doubtful the actress will be getting into that Slave Girl bikini this time around, the regimen of dieting and exercise she's about to start is certainly an indication that she'll be back in front of the camera (this time, for director, J.J. Abrams) tossing snarky loving insults to a certain "scruffy-looking nerfherder" played by Harrison Ford. (Who is also rumored to be locked into the film in secret.)

We could chose to take this latest confirmation with a grain of salt, but at the end of the day, one has to conclude that Disney would be insane to pursue their upcoming Star Wars sequel trilogy project without the presence of the beloved Original Trilogy cast members. Certainly, the official confirmations of Fisher and Ford, as well as Mark Hamill, Billy Dee Williams, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, and Peter Mayhew are as inevitable as Abrams lens flare.

Star Wars: Episode VII records hunched-over holographic messages to Obi-Wan when it hits theaters in summer 2015.


RED 2: New Trailer Overflowing With Action

RED 2 has released an insanely infectious new trailer which delves deeper into the latest adventure of our heroic aging ass-kickers.

Unfortunately for our grizzled love-stricken protagonist, Frank Moses (Bruce Willis), his current life could be defined by the famous quote from The Godfather: Part III (which was arguably the only redeeming part of that film): "Just when I thought I was out...they pull me back in." Indeed, even an innocuous Costco outing to pick up a gross of denture paste with his new main squeeze, Sarah Ross (Mary-Louise Parker) can't go according to plan as his old paranoid pal, Marvin Boggs (John Malkovich) appears out of thin air like a demented soothsayer, spouting rants that forebode yet another intrusion of Frank's past as a CIA assassin into his currently mellow life.

Of course, the intricately-woven plot unfolds and it seems that Frank and Marvin were mysteriously held culpable for a missing late Cold War-era megaton bomb built to be smuggled in pieces and now it seems he needs to find it before untold disaster occurs. Unfortunately, their biggest lead is the institutionalized mad scientist who made the bomb back in the day, Edward Bailey (Anthony Hopkins), who, let's just say is locked up for a reason. As if being framed and dealing with his lunacy was not enough, a hit has been placed on Frank's head, sending old killing buddy, Victoria (Helen Mirren) on his trail, as a well as a dangerous younger assassin said to be the best contract killer in the world who you could almost say strikes like a "Storm Shadow", played by Byung-hun Lee. Things get way out of control and Frank needs to turn to the help of a voluptuous old flame in Miranda Wood (Catherine Zeta-Jones), who isn't exactly observing decorum with PDA when it comes to Frank, despite his current beau, Sarah being ever-present.

RED 2 takes time away from killing to explode toilets and make awkward toasts when it hits theaters on July 19. Check out the new trailer below!

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Iron Man 3: Amazing Air Force One Rescue Clip

Iron Man 3 has yet another killer clip with which to bombard us before we start the weekend. Indeed, it seems the cycle of movie news has temporarily stood still while the Iron Avenger's solo sequel dominates box-offices in just about every place around the world except here in 'Murica. -- Thankfully, we 'Muricans are being somewhat satiated with these sneak peak free sample clips until the film hits next week.

While we just got a dramatic piece with Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark bearing his soul, this gravity-grilling clip thankfully ups the adrenaline into overdrive. (Although sneakier fans checking foreign video sites may have already seen it.) That dastardly clandestine d**k, The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley) has somehow arranged for Air Force One to get popped open right at 30,000 feet like a Coke can that was just in a paint mixer. As (presumably) William Sadler's President Ellis, the crew, and various other bureaucratic personnel plummet to their impending deaths, in comes Iron Man ready to turn saving lives into a massive mini-game of gallantry.

The action is certainly an exciting contrast to the last clip and we even learn that the latest Iron Man armor, the Mark XLII has the outrageous contingency feature of electrifying nerves in the human hand to prevent it from opening. Bruce Wayne, it looks like someone just walked right up and stole your title for outrageously-absurd plot-driven gadgets so hard that you dropped your Shark Repellent Bat-Spray.

Iron Man 3 puts together a mid-air group hug when it hits theaters on May 3. The new clip is available for viewing and download on iTunes Trailers, but check out an embedded version below via ComicBookMovie.

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Iron Man 3 may already be a huge smash in numerous countries, but here in the good 'ole US of A, we're still at the one week mark before its wide release. As a result, sneak preview "free sample" clips like this latest dramatic pathos-packed piece keep dropping.

While this scene is a far cry from the obliterating orgy of awesome that the action-packed production surely contains, it nevertheless gives more uninterrupted insight on what's motivating Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark these days. Titled, "Nothing is The Same Since New York" the clip will certainly ring familiar to anyone who has seen the film's vast array of trailers and TV spots. However, we dig a bit deeper in explaining Tony's Big-Apple-related bewailing. Clearly, the events depicted in The Avengers has humbled the formerly brash genius playboy to the point where his place in the world has been redefined for him. He's a man who's made quite a number of enemies during his exploits as Iron Man and now, he's working through some subconscious-mandated insomnia to build a legion of Iron Man armors to help deal with those issues and protect the lovely Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) with palladium-packed power. -- But, is it enough?

In an existence full of space-traveling aliens, other dimensions, and hunky Norse Gods, the self-deprecating deviser equates himself to "a man in a can." (Which sounds like a product sold in bulk to lonely cat ladies.) However, don't expect Tony to spend the whole film sitting on an o-ring cushion, nursing his sore backside. While there is much he will endure, it's all designed to make the impending rise all the more satisfying; especially when takes the fight to Ben Kingsley's villainous mastermind, The Mandarin.

Iron Man 3 bombards baddies with the coolest "distractions" ever when it hits theaters on May 3.


Captain America: The Winter Soldier: Hayley Atwell Gets In Action

Captain America: The Winter Soldier will have Chris Evans' Steve Rogers/Captain America enduring an awkward reunion with his unfrozen brainwashed buddy in the titular Winter Soldier played by Sebastian Stan next summer. However, it seems that will not be the film's only head-scratching homecoming. Cap's love interest in the badass British bombshell, Peggy Carter is confirmed to be back. While one would think that means the present-set piece would have her either as part of a flashback scene or as an aged version of Steve's lost love, actress, Hayley Atwell confirms she will have multiple fight scenes in the film! -- Wha?...

While it was generally believed that the "flashback" option was the only feasible explanation for Atwell's return in the film, the actress would reveal in a recent interview with Metro (in a piece charmingly titled: "My Captain America character is kick-ass") that she has actually been training and working arduously for three separate fight scenes; an effort that could imply there's more to her part than a simple flashback. According to Atwell:

“‘I’ve been working with some stunt coordinators – I get three separate fight scenes,’” she says. “‘The training has been really tough because not only are you learning the moves, you’re also learning the power of the punch so it doesn’t look like you have spaghetti arms. On my first day, they said: “It’s going really well but you don’t have to add your own sound effects…”’

Interestingly enough, the film will feature actress, Emily VanCamp as S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and another potential love interest, Sharon Carter; a character in the comic books who is a familial descendant (through ever-changing context) to Atwell's Peggy Carter, who was Cap's love during the World War II period. Will our hero (somehow) be up to his neck in fantastically fecund Carter femme fatales? Or, is it the case that The Winter Soldier will simply be a flashback-filled feature?

In the meantime, Atwell's character also dominates a rumor regarding an upcoming "One-Shot" short film in similar vein to last year's Avengers-related short, Item 47. Marvel Studios' Louis D'Esposito promises that the mini-feature, set to screen at Comic-Con this summer, will star "a female protagonist." It's an idea that, coupled with the news of Atwell's extensive fight training for a seemingly brief part, has Peggy Carter named as the character it will most likely star in a flashback of sorts. -- So, for those (of us) who can't get enough Hayley Atwell action, disappointment does not appear to be in the cards.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier promises to bring gorgeous WWII-era women who would whoop Rosie the Riveter's ass when it hits theaters on April 4, 2014.

[Source] [Via]

Guillermo Del Toro Developing HBO Series

Famed director/producer, Guillermo del Toro will be bringing his talents to the unfiltered television playground of HBO to develop a potential new series based on a heralded Japanese manga series called Monster.

Created by Naoki Urasawa, the 18 volume Monster manga published between 1994-1991 would also spawn a 2004-2005 anime series. The story follows a young doctor who saves the life of a 12 year-old boy from a gunshot wound to the head; a seemingly benevolent act that will ultimately yield dire consequences. Years later, it would be discovered that the very same child has grown up to be a homicidal megalomaniac with grand ambitions to single-handedly bring about a new level of mass genocide. As things progress through various twists and turns, it becomes apparent that the child, who is the story's titular "monster," was actually born in a eugenics experiment along with his more benign twin sister to create the ultimate, unyielding ruthless soldier. The story's dominant theme debates whether this level of evil could actually be created or if it was a byproduct of the person's experiences. Thus, it, blends elements of science fiction and philosophy into a dramatic backdrop centering on the age-old "nature vs. nurture" debate.

For Del Toro, the process of getting this adaptation (originally pitched as a feature film,) to the point of feasibility was apparently a long process with not only the original creator, Urasawa, but with studio, New Line, who came to the conclusion that the ambitious project was far too heavy to be contained within a movie. However, it seems that an interested HBO, who, as evidenced by the success of Game of Thrones, seems to be expanding its genre palettes, was able to provide the perfect platform to adapt this sprawling series. Now, Del Toro serves as executive producer and will also co-write the inaugural story with Doctor Who and Sherlock writer, Steven Thompson.

No timeframe has been revealed regarding the debut of Monster. (Or, for that matter, if the show will even keep that name.) It's certainly yet another large item placed on Del Toro's plate, as he currently deals with a plethora of projects like this summer's launch of his "giant robots vs. monsters" directorial effort, Pacific Rim, ghostly drama, Crimson Peak, and possibly running the still-stagnant TV adaptation of The Incredible Hulk.


Guardians Of The Galaxy: Lee Pace In Talks For Villain Role

Guardians of the Galaxy has seemingly procured its villain. It is being reported by The Wrap that actor, Lee Pace is in final negotiations to be cast as the film's momentarily unnamed villain.

Pace, the former star of cult fave TV series, Pushing Daisies, has recently seen his stock soar after having landed parts in lucrative franchises like The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, and as an oddly angelic-looking elven king (and Legolas' daddy), Thranduil in last year's The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey; a part he will reprise in the two follow-up films. However, as an interesting fact, Pace was actually up for the role of Guardians' primary hero, Peter Quill/Star-Lord during the film's crucible of a casting process full of top-level candidates. The part would ultimately go to an underdog in Chris Pratt.

At the moment, the identity of Pace's villainous role is being kept under wraps. It's certainly raising questions, since it was assumed that, based on the post-credits scene in Marvel movieverse connected film, The Avengers, that the Mad Titan, Thanos was set to antagonize this cosmic super-team. (Which also has members with origins directly tied to Thanos, as well.) However, it might be the case that the actor will portray an associate of Thanos, possibly setting up a confrontation with the cosmic head honcho for a later film. (Maybe even with help from The Avengers.) The name of the mind-manipulating menace, The Controller has been rumored in the past as a possible addition to the rogues gallery. It is certainly within the realm of possibility for Pace, who joins Chris Pratt, Dave Bautista, Zoe Saldana, Michael Rooker, and the recently cast Ophelia Lovibond in Marvel's experimental space epic.

Guardians of the Galaxy will have a villain trying to get our heroes to push daisies of their own when it hits theaters on August 1, 2014.


X-Men: Days Of Future Past: Bishop And Warpath Confirmed

X-Men: Days of Future past will apparently have even more mutants to add to its mounting cast. Director, Bryan Singer's latest tweet-teasing revelation unveiled the identity of two yet-to-be-cast mutant characters in Bishop and Warpath.

The revelation would come in the form of a Vine video showing labeled character chairs sporting the monikers of known mutant members and those of the newly-named duo. With each addition of seemingly critical characters, it becomes even more difficult to imagine how this mutant clown car of a film will take shape.

This film is certainly taking a number of deviations from the groundbreaking early 80's comic book storyline from which it was inspired and named. However, when it comes the character of Bishop (who had not even appeared in the comics until a decade after the Days storyline), we have a deviation that may actually be plot-relevant. In the comics, Bishop is a time-traveling policeman of sorts (the non-Van Damme variety) from a dystopian future about a century in advance shaped by a great war in which humans and mutants had finally joined forces to fight the monstrous humanoid robots, The Sentinels. The signature branded "M" over his right eye was a reminder of a time from his early life when mutants were hurdled into concentration camps. In the comics, Bishop, whose powers of energy absorption and release are similar to Sebastian Shaw's, chases a time-traveling fugitive named Trevor Fitzroy to the past where he eventually joins the present day X-Men. To him, our X-Men are figures from tales told to him in his boyhood. It seems that this film will apparently weave Bishop's time-rupturing pursuit into its storyline, possibly being a critical component to the plot itself.

As for Warpath, aka James Proudstar, he brings his mutant-endowed superhuman strength and speed to the film. The younger brother of the famously-martyred Native American mutant, Thunderbird, Warpath was originally a vengeance-seeking villain before eventually joining Cable's heroic super-team, X-Force. No details have been revealed concerning which timeline he exists in the film. However, the recent casting of The Twilight Saga star, Booboo Stewart, who could be an ethnic match, has speculation leaning towards him to take the role. (He'll need to work out. -- A LOT.)

X-Men: Days of Future Past looks for a bigger screen to fit all the mutants it's been casting when it hits theaters on July 18, 2014. Check out Bryan Singer's video below!

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The Expendables 3 Finds A Director

The Expendables 3, Sylvester Stallone's next potential action-infused assortment of alpha-male-inflicted massacres has found its director. It seems that up and coming Australian director, Patrick Hughes will helm the bloodthristy third entry in the franchise.

The news comes from Sly himself (essentially in control of the franchise), who took to Twitter dropping hints before finally confirming that he selected Hughes to be the film's new visionary. The Aussie, whose directorial resume is somewhat thin, apparently impressed Stallone with his 2010 writing/directorial effort, Red Hill, which starred True Blood's Ryan Kwanten. The decision on who would occupy the big chair for this sequel was apparently a critical one, given the dangers of this hugely successful franchise possibly appearing stale in this third effort. It's an especially important precaution after the embarrassing box-office collapses of recent solo efforts by Stallone in Bullet to the Head and by co-star, Arnold Schwarzenegger with The Last Stand. Consequently, after negotiations to procure Mel Gibson as director fell through, Stallone described the selection process of The Expendables 3 helmer as a search for "new blood."

"My best PURE ACTION FILM-The last RAMBO- I want this one too top it and I believe it will with NEW BLOOD..."

Upon revealing that Hughes landed the job, he would comment:

"Rent RED HILL. Great Movie!! 500,000 budget 20 day shoot, Amazing - ROCKY was 850,000 and 25 days , Good OMEN!!!"

The praises would continue and it does appear that the next over-the-top one-liner-dropping love letter to the old-school 80's action genre will begin production this summer. Besides the repertory players joining Stallone like Jason Statham, Terry Crews, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, and Randy Couture, expect to see new (old-school) action faces like Jackie Chan and even a reunion with Stallone's Demolition Man nemesis, Wesley Snipes.

The Expendables 3 invades theaters with weapons harnessing the power of pure testosterone sometime in 2014.


Daredevil Film Rights Revert To Marvel Studios

It looks like Marvel Comics' "Man Without Fear," Daredevil could be the next character to brought to the big screen under the tent-pole of Marvel Studios' canon-consolidated cinema. Studio head, Kevin Feige reportedly confirmed that the film rights are now officially back in the Marvel Studios/Disney home stable with the likes of The Avengers and its spinoff films. This comes after years of being held by 20th Century Fox, who would make the 2003 Daredevil film with Ben Affleck and its 2005 spinoff, Elektra with Jennifer Garner.

Around this time last year, it looked like Fox was attempting to salvage their legal hold on the franchise by producing a reboot film, which, after a brief shuffle, was to be helmed by Smokin' Aces and The A-Team director, Joe Carnahan. Supposedly set to be a re-imagining of the blind lawyer vigilante's story set in the 1970's, carrying a gritty, Serpico-like edge, the film would have renewed Fox's claim to the film rights. However, the time in which they were allocated to get that project up and running passed last summer. They were surely weighing a number of factors; notably how their 2003 effort (and its spinoff) was a critical and financial failure, despite having big name stars in Ben Affleck, Collin Farrell, and Jennifer Garner. There was clearly some hesitance to commit to the project. Considering that we're in the middle of an unprecedented surge in the superhero film genre, that inertia speaks volumes on the project in question.

It takes the right kind of movie to reinvigorate a character's status. Something worth pondering is that before Marvel Studios' watershed 2008 film, the character of Tony Stark/Iron Man was pretty much on the same level of "B-List" popularity as Daredevil. (At least, to the mainstream, anyway.) -- Look what the right movie did for him. The latest report on the rights shift today was merely a formality for what was inevitable after Fox let the clock run out, pretty much conceding that "the right movie" (whether or not it was Carnahan's) was not within their risk/reward zone.

Now, Daredevil joins a list of recently jailbroken Marvel heroes such as The Punisher and Blade, who return home to the celluloid stewardship of Marvel Studios and its Disney backers. While no details have been discussed on what kind of projects could be on tap for those names, you can bet that the studio's current practice of meticulous long-term franchise planning means that SOMETHING is brewing. (Maybe for Phase Three or Four.)



Star Trek Into Darkness has dropped yet another uninterrupted sneak preview clip showcasing samples of the film's intense action scenes.

While yesterday, we saw a volcano-stuck-Spock ready to martyr himself (again) for "the needs of the many," today's clip comes courtesy of MSN, showing Kirk, Spock, Uhura, and a few unidentified passengers (which is never a good thing to be in Star Trek) strolling along in a defenseless shuttlecraft being pursued by an unknown assailant ship whose enmity towards our heroes is so deep that they're willing to risk a Death Star trench-run-like chase that could easily go awry. (Looks like Kirk may have gotten too friendly with yet another married sexy alien space thing.)

The clip actually culminates in a tight squeeze of a scene that you probably already caught in the film's numerous trailers and TV spots. Nevertheless, these clips are like the free sample ladies at Sam's Club/Costco. If you're sly and shameless enough to keep going back, you can eek a solid meal out of them. We're certainly bound to see more "free samples" like these as we move towards the film's impending release next month. (Although you may eventually want to buy a box, you cheap bastards.)

Star Trek Into Darkness ignores the obviously fake mustache you put on and lets you grab a second wedge of chicken cordon bleu movie clips when it hits theaters on May 17.

Iron Man 3 storms theaters with Tony Stark's 42 armors in a little over a week. However, that's not stopping this unrelenting hype train on the way to its lucrative destination. For those who just can't bear the wait, this latest featurette exclusive to IGN actually delves quite deep into an important plot point of the film: Extremis and the subdermal shimmering sinister super-soldiers which it spawned.

When it was revealed that Iron Man 3 would be giving us a live-action homage to Warren Ellis' 2005/2006 Iron Man "Extremis" comic book storyline, it was assumed that it would follow the basic concepts of its plot, depicting Extremis as a nanovirus which could endow great powers both biologically and technologically, while also yielding horrific results on its downside. However, as we learned more about the film, it was clear that terms like "nanovirus" were something the creative forces found as virulent as Extremis itself. Thankfully, this featurette pretty much lays out how the film's version of Extremis will manifest and what it does to the gangster-like guinea pigs who volunteered for the experimentation. Most notable of the lab rats, is James Badge Dale, who plays Eric Savin, known as the villainous Coldblood in the comic books. Indeed, if, as another Marvel character's defining motto states, that with great power comes great responsibility, then the great power that Extremis endows gives one great responsibility...to be an unmitigated a**hole.

Iron Man 3 battles The Mandarin's juiced-up mischief-makers when it hits theaters on May 3.

Guardians Of The Galaxy Casts Ophelia Lovibond

Guardians of the Galaxy, next summer's first foray into the Marvel Movieverse's cosmic theater has added another cast member in the lovely London-born actress, Ophelia Lovibond.

The 27 year-old starlet can be seen in films, like Jim Carrey's family-friendly film, Mr. Popper's Penguins, one of 2011's multiple "f**k buddies" movies in No Strings Attached, and on the TV series Titanic: Blood and Steel. Lovibond will join a cast consisting of lead, Chris Pratt, former WWE wrestler, Dave Bautista, Zoe Saldana, and Michael Rooker in this comic book-inspired surreal space odyssey come to life.

While details regarding Lovibond's role are vague and unconfirmed, rumors do have her pegged for a character who is connected to one of Marvel Comics' "Elders of the Universe" called The Collector, an ancient immortal notoriously known for...yes, collecting stuff, namely living superheroes. However, it's unlikely that he'll have time for that creepy endeavor in this space epic, which will likely have our titular team battling better enemies in the forces of the Mad Titan, Thanos. The film could possibly see the Elders of the Universe together for some plot-related reason and the dominant speculation is under the impression that Lovibond will play Carina, the daughter of Elder member, The Collector. (The closest comic book character who fits the vague description of the rumor.) The scope of this supporting role is certainly up in the air at this point.

Guardians of the Galaxy rockets into space to fight evil with wrestlers and raccoons when it hits theaters on August 1, 2014.


Thor: The Dark World Trailer Defends Different Worlds

Thor: The Dark World has unleashed its debut trailer and it packs a thunderous impact of gravity-defying, world-splitting, explosive excellence.

An ancient, ominous force of darkness looms over the universe threatening to destroy not only the always-embattled Earth, but even the mystical realm of Asgard where Chris Hemsworth's Thor calls home. Besides taking a few moments to hammer some heads and groundquake the hell out of some hapless hostiles, Thor's first priority is to give his 'ole gal pal, Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) an inter-realm ring, setting up an awkward reunion/sort-of-kidnapping as he whisks her to his home of Asgard. -- Much the chagrin of a visibly upset Sif (Jaimie Alexander) who is slowly beginning to realize that her amorous ambitions for Thor could not be secured even with "the other woman" located in another dimension.

Of course, there are other issues besides Sif's reluctant relocation to "the friend zone," especially when it comes to that aforementioned ominous force of darkness. It seems that the return of this ancient enemy (possibly the fire demon, Surtur,) who had been imprisoned and dormant since the beginnings of the universe is the handiwork of an evil dark elf ruler of the realm of Svartalfheim named Malekith (Christopher Eccleston). It looks like this d**k of a dark elf quickly catches on to the fact that Thor's love for Jane Foster can be exploited and we see the Norse God of Thunder brought to his knees as Malekith holds her life in the balance. It seems that he's in such a desperate state over Jane's safety that he's turned to the help of his former worse enemy, fresh from wreaking havoc on Earth in New York and getting his ass handed to him by "a Hulk." While Loki (Tom Hiddleston) is found locked in the proverbial "Hannibal Lecter room" (which I guess Anthony Hopkins' Odin had installed out of self-reverence), it appears that an unlikely alliance has been struck between these half-brothers who hate each other to stop this new threat that could potentially rip apart the frazzled fabric of the very universe itself. -- Oh, and also rescue Thor's bun. Priorities, right?

Thor: The Dark World gets its hero thrown off his game by Natalie Portman worse than Anakin Skywalker when it hits theaters on November 8.

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