Five Ridiculous Things We Love About Resident Evil

49 Comments Posted November 6, 2009 - By Andrew Pfister

The first Resident Evil was a landmark game for a multitude of reasons, chief among them was that it got a new generation of young people to finally start taking the possibility of a zombie outbreak seriously. With each successive game in the series, we learned more and more about what to do: how to heal ourselves in the case of a bite, what the proper zombie combat attire is, how to navigate through complex building layouts, and how to avoid eccentric rich families...the list goes on. All of this is highly practical information that will...aw, screw it. Resident Evil is RIDICULOUS. Here are Five Reasons Why.

Number Five: Herbal Essence

RE Herb

Video game healing mechanisms are easy targets for us practitioners of logic, as serious medical emergencies require treatments above and beyond gourmet mushrooms, hiker-level first aid kits, and simply "walking off" multiple gunshot wounds. In almost all cases, we accept the "it's just a game" argument and enjoy ourselves. Resident Evil's herb system, iconic as it has become, deserves a spot in the upper echelon of gaming quackery.

Defined no further than "green herb" and "red herb," these little miracle plants are responsible for keeping you alive during a zombie outbreak. But is there real science to it? The Internet site eMedicinal.com believes there might be, offering herbal remedies for the following undead-related conditions:

Skin Troubles, Acne, Eczema, and Bad Complexion
For Dropsy (swelling of soft tissue as a result of pooling fluid from maintaining an upright position)
To Calm Nerves
Prevention of Nightmares
Carinative (relief of gas and bloat)

Missing from this list are "profuse bleeding from the leg" and "missing chunks of neck," which, sadly, no amount of juniper berries or German chamomile can heal. Unless perhaps they're in a spray form.

Number Four: Dressed to Get Killed

RE3 Jill

The blue tube top flatters as it allows for maximum mobility and provides for proper perspiration. The thigh-level skirt is a little revealing and inappropriate for the job at hand, but what it lacks in practicality, it makes up for by attracting any able-bodied male survivors to join the fight. The knee-high boots just as easily stomp on zombie skulls as they do zombie hearts, and the entire ensemble says "I might die a horrible, fiery death tonight, but at least I'll look good doing it."

But Jill, honey, that wrap-around sweater has got to go.

Number Three: Honey, I Lost My Keys...

RCPD

The Resident Evil games would be over pretty quickly if Raccoon City's architects abided by sensible design philosophies. For these highly-trained law enforcement officers, getting to the most vital areas of buildings like the mansion or RCPD headquarters would be as simple as walking down the hall, or at worst, waiting a few seconds for an elevator and then kicking down the appropriate doors.

But noooooooooo, in order to get anywhere, there's gotta be an elaborate riddle to solve -- usually involving the placement or rearrangement of old things. It's no wonder that Umbrella Corp. consistently ranks in the lowest tier of American companies for workplace efficiency. (And this is before Facebook.)

Number Two: Family Affairs

RE Ashfords

Remember Resident Evil: Code Veronica? Yeah, the Dreamcast was a long, long time ago. But besides the awesome opening sequence, the thing that lingers the most was the creepy subplot involving the aristocratic Ashford family. See, Alfred Ashford and his twin sister Alexia torment Claire Redfield and Steve Burnside throughout the game. Only...Alexia is in long-term cryostatic sleep so that she can awaken as a walking biological weapon. Before you say “whaaaa?” consider this:

Alexia is in cryostatic sleep. So who’s that tormenting them? Take a sec and think about it. Alfred’s that creepily obsessed with his sister. When the two finally reunite at the game’s finale, it’s about as uncomfortable as watching any given character turn into a giant sputtering orifice monster. Oh, and they turned their dad into a disgusting level boss.

Give these characters a reality show, stat.

Number One: Masters of Unlocking

RE Barry

Resident Evil games aren't scary scary, they're campy scary, and that's why we love them. RE4 and RE5 tried to be more serious (and mostly pulled it off), but the series' legacy will always be cheap gotcha moments and hammy voice acting, highlighted by Barry Burton's famous possibly-botched pick-up attempt to Jill Valentine: "Jill, here's a lockpick. It might be handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you." Even RE4's merchant and his frequent inquiries into your spending habits became part of RE's lovable lore.

What am I buying? I'll take a Jill sandwich. Extra cheese.

What Resident Evil foolishness are ya selling? Give your ideas in the comments...

Tags: Videogames

Comments

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kampfer_sama

The technical impossibility of walking and making proper use of a firearm at the same time.

Posted: November 6, 2009 1:53 PM | Reply | Report

+28 thumbs up thumbs down

1 Reply
gamersince1995

THC!

Posted: November 6, 2009 1:56 PM | Reply | Report

-2 thumbs up thumbs down

2 Replies
Sawblood45

The dark and eerie feeling of Resident Evil before it became an action shooter.

Posted: November 6, 2009 2:07 PM | Reply | Report

+10 thumbs up thumbs down

1 Reply
Metalstorm98

im a fan of the weapon toting zombies... sophisticated enought to fire crossbows and rev chainsaws... yet they want desperately to feast on your flesh... go figure

Posted: November 6, 2009 2:07 PM | Reply | Report

+2 thumbs up thumbs down

1 Reply
Little_Goblyn

How about instead of limiting the controls to only hitting "X" when a bad guy gets to close, they make it to where you can actually grapple and hand to hand combat with out the screen telling you when to push a button, FREE up the controls more please. Also, can I please be able to run or walk while shooting? geez every other game has been able to master this why can't RE? Also I miss the whole original kind of zombies, the next one should include things from the old games and the new, like have real zombies in them, that's what drew me into RE as a kid when it first came out. This whole half dead/maybe a zombie/ snake in head/ alien thing is kind of bugging me now. I miss the old walking dead.

Posted: November 6, 2009 2:11 PM | Reply | Report

+9 thumbs up thumbs down

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lordxero

What the hell happened to Barry

Posted: November 6, 2009 2:12 PM | Reply | Report

+4 thumbs up thumbs down

2 Replies
MrPickering

Nintendo milking the rights with a remake per console.

Posted: November 6, 2009 2:16 PM | Reply | Report

+2 thumbs up thumbs down

1 Reply
thepsychogamer Show Hide(2 Replies)

Thanks IGN, i love your constant need for lists

Posted: November 6, 2009 2:17 PM | Reply | Report

-26 thumbs up thumbs down

2 Replies
InHumanMarine

Using a typewriter to save your progress. Couldn't you just save it on your flashdrive, call it in, or send an email via Skype?

Posted: November 6, 2009 2:47 PM | Reply | Report

+7 thumbs up thumbs down

0 Replies
residenteviljill10

I love the Resident Evil franchise it the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: November 6, 2009 2:47 PM | Reply | Report

+5 thumbs up thumbs down

0 Replies
IcemanMX

Thank you Mr. Pfister. That article made my day just a bit more bearable.

-M

Posted: November 6, 2009 2:59 PM | Reply | Report

+2 thumbs up thumbs down

0 Replies
Chunky_2336

or how 4 masks are able to knock down a coffin that was chained up?

Posted: November 6, 2009 3:42 PM | Reply | Report

-1 thumbs up thumbs down

0 Replies
X02

To elaborate on number three, I like the crazy 'keys' that you often have to use to open a door i.e. a boss' eyeball, a sword off of a statue, etc.

What if we had to do that in real life? Honey, I locked myself out again. Did you bring your giant, antique knight helmet?

Posted: November 6, 2009 3:52 PM | Reply | Report

+6 thumbs up thumbs down

1 Reply
theonlinelegend

I'm mixing green herb with red herb right now!

Posted: November 6, 2009 4:52 PM | Reply | Report

+4 thumbs up thumbs down

1 Reply
Wozman23

Where does not being able to move and shoot simultaneously rank on the list?

Posted: November 6, 2009 5:01 PM | Reply | Report

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Dan3739

Theres two things I like about RE. The fact that WD-40 must not exist for all those creaky doors. And that every helicopter pilot has an exceptional talent to crash at the worst time.

Posted: November 6, 2009 5:53 PM | Reply | Report

+6 thumbs up thumbs down

1 Reply
Tahu5

It's kind of annoying to me to have a limited number saves because of ink ribbons. It's a good thing they took that out in Resident Evil 4.

Posted: November 6, 2009 6:02 PM | Reply | Report

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undecided399

I will always love resident evil.No matter how bad the games get or turn i.e rail shooter i will always look back on them fondly of the many nights i would spend with snacks and the lights off playing the games....bless zombie Apocalypses lol plus leon being cute helped..oh and im a girl although im sure there are some guys out there who liked leon too ha ha

Posted: November 6, 2009 7:18 PM | Reply | Report

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0 Replies
guillermoja87

the most ridiculous thing about resident evil is that even in resident evil 5,I can not run and shoot at the same time.

Posted: November 6, 2009 7:30 PM | Reply | Report

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0 Replies
O_oSpookYo_O

am i the only RE fan that has NO problem with the fact that i can't "Run/walk and shoot" at the same time ???

Posted: November 6, 2009 8:27 PM | Reply | Report

+5 thumbs up thumbs down

7 Replies