Our long national nightmare is finally ending. In retaliation for the Mooninites' vicious invasion of the city of Boston a few years ago, NASA will explode the moon tomorrow night, and thus usher in a bright, new, moon-free future.
NASA's cover story for the moon-splosion is that they are seeking confirmation that there is water on the lunar surface, and they plan to send a rocket down to the crater Cabeus, then fly a spaceship through the dust kicked up in order to analyze the dust cloud for the presence of water. They say the explosion won't actually harm the moon in any way. Yeah. Right. The old "we're looking for water!" excuse.
"We will finally show that damned moon who is the boss: The U.S.A," a NASA scientist did not say. "America can, should, must and will blow up the moon." He did not add.
The fireworks start tomorrow morning at 4:30AM PST. Do not miss it.
We at TheFeed applaud NASA's courageous actions, as we have long hated the moon, mainly because of the man on the moon -- I'll bet a rocket will wipe that smirk off his face. We also hate the nefarious influence the moon has on our tides. Centuries worth of floods have been caused by the moon's tyrannical gravitational pull, and we are simply sick of it.
As yet, the National Foundation for the Advancement of Werewolves has not commented, but experts expect them to say something like, "Oooo-wooooooo!" Here's Mr. Show's take on the developments.
Comments
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TheSiwentKiwwah
that's hilarious.
Andrew Pfister
They're making a huge mistake by not waiting until it's full. They won't get all of it.
(Nice tags, Steve.)
river_tron
This article is HILARIOUS! Thanks Stephen, I needed that.
LarcenousLaugh
SJ, nice mention of the Mooninites. I am giving this finger gesture to the moon with all my power!
ABabyHippo
I got a good chuckle out of this.
mindsale
Someone's a fan of Mr. Show, hm?
djwyattwood
Already knew about this but this article just made my day.
I hope we are blowing up the moon to put the Sun in its place. F'ing Sun burns.
grimgreg1
In all seriousness I hope they took into fact that moon controls tides and if that goes boom, we get floods and stuff AND WE DIE ANYWAYS
iScotty
i lol'd simply at the title :D
9000
classic mr. show segement.
gravy666
So Earth is turning into the Death Star. All I can say is, watch out for those teenagers.
Dr_Mindbender
Just be sure you shoot it when it's a full moon, to be sure you get it all.
shagdaddey
@grimgreg1
We aren't "blowing up the moon." We are shooting a rocket into a crater to see if there are water deposits inside the crater. The ejecta is only going to go about 6 miles high (which isn't all that high. Here on earth, airplanes cruising altitude is 7 miles high for reference.) You need a pretty decent telescope to see it - and you probably want to be on the west coast since it will still be dark here. Cabeus is located (if looking up at the moon) just left of the south lunar pole.
The moon won't even shake getting hit from this. (The moon actually does rattle upon cosmic impacts due to the makeup of its core. It rattle for months-years after getting hit by semi-decent sized asteroids.) Saying NASA is "blowing up the moon" is like saying our military is blowing up earth by dropping bombs in Afghanistan.
shagdaddey
As an avid space/astrophysics enthusiast i advise everyone to wake up early, put down the dualshock and watch this online.
shagdaddey
As an avid space/astrophysics enthusiast i advise everyone to wake up early, put down the dualshock and watch this online.
gizzmo8478
Dear G4,
On behalf of myself and fellow Feed readers, I would like to ask that Raymond Padilla be given chance to write a final farewell article. A chance for him to properly and professionally express any passing thoughts as he leaves this community and moves on to further endeavors. Many of the people that support this site have found immense enjoyment in following it because of writers like Raymond. His wit, intelligence and ability to connect with us on a personal level are what makes our thoughts and comments feel warranted and appreciated. Allowing us to interact with him in a formal article will serve as a proper route of showing our support; instead of using other articles that hold no relevance to the subject to voice our thoughts and warm wishes. Thank you for your consideration.
Sign, The readers of The Feed
Memu
It will be nice to finaly verify what we have known all along... that the Moon is made of cheese.
SiK
Did the Moon Die?
dolphers
Didn't "The Time Machine" teach us anything about setting off the Moon? ;)
PCTech714
Hey, as long as Chairface Chippendale can finish writing his name there, I'll be fine. That whole "Cha"
sitting by itself lacks the same effect...
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