G4TV

So, there's good news and there's bad news. The good news is that Dr. Pepper, the greatest soda on planet Earth, is giving away 20 oz. bottles of their concoction on November 23, 2008. The bad news is it's in celebration of the "planned" release date for Guns N' Roses' Chinese Democracy album.

The album, which has been in development and re-recording sessions for a whopping 17 years, has seen many a release date come and go, but with the album actually completed, it's now a matter of Axl just letting it go out into the world.

We were hoping the promotion would mean that when you show up at your local Wherehouse Music, or perhaps Tower Records, you could purchase your Chinese Democracy and be handed a cold, crisp, sugary Dr. Pepper straight outta the big bucket of ice right next to the counter. But that's not how they do it down in Plano, TX where Dr. Pepper HQ is located. Instead, you'll have 24 hours starting on November 23 to go to the Dr. Pepper web site and give up your personal information so they can mail you a coupon in 4-6 weeks.

We've overheard part of the album already at a party and we're not that into it, but if you like the sweeping, pretentious balladry of late GNR and NIN ripoffs, it might be for you. The only thing that can possibly bring you back to reality after listening to Chinese Democracy is the caramelly, caffeinated smoothness of the 23 distinct flavors of a Dr. Pepper. Folks, just buy one, put on Lies as loud as it will go, and cry yourself to sleep.