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Enchanted Arms is the video game equivalent of a hideous albino cave frog. Imagine Final Fantasy VII slinking into a noxious subterranean hell where, for millions of years, it barely evolves only to emerge as a stunted and mutated remnant of the past. Enchanted Arms is this pasty, pitiful creature – a Japanese RPG so steeped in pointless convention that it can barely stand the daylight. Oddly, many won't give two gil about the game's lame story, ridiculous cosplay attire and grating voice acting. And that's a testament to the enduring strength of the game's underlying framework. Turn-based, stat-building role playing games can still be engaging. Enchanted Arms, despite many shameful flaws still retains the power to compel.

The Hero With A Thousand Defects

The story follows Atsuma, a student at a school for young magicians that's a mix between Cromartie High and Hogwarts. As a hero Atsuma is about as dumb as sack full of hammers. We're talking oxygen deficiency-dumb. He's not very good at magic, but his arm has been imbued with some kind of ultimate power. Much of the game revolves around uncovering the origin of Atsuma's mysterious gift. When the chump's hometown is nuked by a Devil Golem, the frigid and predictably busty Queen of Ice, Atsuma begins a quest for answers and, ultimately, revenge. Suckers for fancy-pants cut scenes will drool over the baroque beauty of the game's computer generated sequences. The rest of the narrative is told in sloppily localized voice acting and text that's better skipped than absorbed.

Under the Hood

The actual game sticks very close to JRPG gospel. The turn-based battles are complicated with a tiny dollop of strategy. Party members can jockey for position on a limited battle grid, but there's a frustrating invisible line between you and your enemies. Fights are like dodge ball, with teams hurling attacks at each other until only one remains standing. Upgrades come by way of crafted weapons and the ability to make new Golems – magical puppets that fill out your party. Myriad skills can be also be picked up and slotted along the way. If statistic fiddling is your bag, Enchanted Arms has it. Trouble is there's not much new to chew on. And what is here has been done with better presentation and more convincing encouragement literally hundreds of times.

Can't Shake This Feeling

PlayStation 3 players get a couple extra Sixaxis features that didn't make it into the Xbox 360 version. Shaking triggers special jumps that can just as easily be accomplished by pushing a button. At nearly any time players can throttle the controller to do an “enchant dance” and fill up a power gauge. Graphically, both versions of Enchanted Arms are nearly identical – occasionally beautiful, sometimes ugly, but mostly run-of-the mill with some shiny effects tossed in to remind you that you're playing a next generation game. You've really got to be a completely undiscerning JRPG fan to fully appreciate Enchanted Arms. If, like Neo, you can see past the trappings of reality and appreciate the solid, but unoriginal adventure grind beneath, good for you. Accepting Enchant Arms' genetic flaws as part of the JRPG package is like saying that all comic books are about superheros or that all manga is about ninja schoolgirls. But hey, some folks don't need anything more.

Article by: Gus Mastrapa
Video produced by: Michael Benson