G4TV

Pros: Tons of characters, Mildly amusing mini-games, No tentacles
Cons: Students aren't very likable, Flimsy relationship mechanics, Awful emo soundtrack

In Japan there's been a whole slew of dating sims that vary from flirty explorations of romance aimed at young girls to soul-crushing pornographic perversion for the twisted otaku set. Here in the states our most famous in-game Romeo is Leisure Suit Larry, a lusty schlub whose bawdy and suggestive adventures were crafted as intricate narratives. Brooktown High has more in common with its Japanese counterparts – which are generally smaller in scale and less concerned with an over-arching story. Here it's all about playing a role. Tell your potential mates exactly what you want to hear and they're yours. Conform by dressing hip and students will like you more. It's a cynical attitude towards socializing, but not entirely untrue.

Stranger in a Shallow Land

Players start as the new kid. The hallways of Brooktown High are full of strangers and the only thing to do is to dive in and start making friends. Players can befriend anyone, no matter their sex, but dating and lip-locking seems strictly hetero. Last year's vastly underappreciated Bully already blows this slice of high school life out of the water in this regard. Rockstar's private school simulator gave players way more flexibility on who they wooed and why. It also did a much better job at developing its characters. Potential dates in Brooktown High come off as rough sketches of teenage stereotypes. There's the goth, the geek, the prep and the jock. It feels as though the game's makers have no affection for these kids. Why, then, should we?

Lust Levels Up

The simple courtship rituals of Brooktown High are exercises in manipulation. Though trial and error, or in some cases educated guesses or helpful hints, suitors tell their lovers what they want to hear. Gifts can be used to butter them up and regular attention via phone calls is a must. Still, some of these guys and gals won't give you the time of day if you don't meet their standards. Quite often this means playing mini-games to buff your character's likability. The most fast paced hones smooching skills, by dodging teachers, catching lips and spraying bad breath. It doesn't make much sense, but it's easily the most fun to play. The DDR rip-off is dull and filled with awful emo tracks.

Can I Get A Transfer, Man?

Brooktown High reinforces all the worst ideas about popularity and teenage love. The game's broad digs at school cliques don't say anything new. And the game isn't really all that sexy, either. That's because all the unpredictability that makes love so damn confounding has been replaced by strict rules that must be satisfied before potential mates can interface. There's a bit of a juggling act here, an underlying numbers game, that could engage nerds who like cracking open a game and seeing how it ticks. But the window dressing just isn't all that compelling. If it's high school adventure and woo pitching gamers are after, they should skip Brooktown High's half-assed classes and register at Bully's Bullworth Academy where the make-out sessions are hot and the social criticism cuts deep. 

Article by: Gus Mastrapa