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The Japanese role-playing game is as much a fetish as it is a game genre. Devotees come for epic adventures, lovingly rendered opening animations and involving character customization. Then, once hooked on the gaming goodness at the core of games like Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest, they become mired in a cult who see no wrong in their beloved genre. Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria suffers from many of the same drawbacks of its brethren. It's a game that sags under the weight of turgid plot, unpronounceable names, ridiculous costumes and shoveled-on complexity, making Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria the perfect poster child for all things awesome and annoying about the Japanese RPG.

Totally Un-Godlike Behavior!

Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria's lead is Alicia, a warrior princess with an anxiety disorder. The girl is a stammering mess who wouldn't be able to function in society if she weren't possessed ala The Exorcist by a more self-actualized dame. Sharing Alicia's headspace is Silmeria, a rebellious servant of Odin with serious authority issues. This odd couple quest to find an artifact that will help them combat the angry thunder god. Along the way they gather a party of like-minded living warriors. And occasionally the spirits of warriors can be summoned from Valhalla to join team Silmeria in fighting the power. Norse legends: gotta catch 'em all!

Shut Up and Look Pretty

Most of Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria is played on rails, much like Killer 7. These side-scrolling scenes are when the game looks its best. Coastal villages and dungeons alike are rendered in careful detail then dramatically lit, creating scenery that looks like a diorama or miniature. Characters jump and walk stiffly, like marionettes. And yet, in this rigid view even Alicia's jerky movements work. Under the spotlight that comes with narrative the game wilts. The characters, dressed in outlandish cosplay garb, move stiffly and speak in stilted fashion now depressingly familiar to gamers. It's no help that the story plods  for hours on end, lobbing exposition with all the enthusiasm of a Best Buy cashier. For a game about dead heroes, these guys sure do talk a lot.

Buried Treasures

Valkyrie Profile 2: Slimeria makes attempts at updating role play combat. Battles go down on a battlefield, which your party warriors maneuver, picking fights at will. This action-oriented update to turn based mechanics is merely satisfactory, with too many glitches and annoyances to make brawling pure fun. Even though players are granted the power to split their party up and fine tune their battle positions, the characters tend to get caught up on the scenery and left behind. Almost every mechanic in this game has one or two similar flaws. There are tons of spells, skills, attacks and effects to keep tab on, with very little in-game guidance to help you master them. If a quiet evening reading a digital camera manual sounds like your cup of tea, Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria might be the game for you.

If we're hard on Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria it's because the game was so close to being something great. At its core the game is fiendishly clever. Like the game's baroque visuals, the mechanics are equally ornate – nearly diabolically so. It's a shame to discover such a meticulously crafted game cobbled together with duct-tape. No wonder Odin is ticked; the people in charge of making games about him got so wrapped up in their work that they forgot to make Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria fun for us mere mortals.

Article by: Gus Mastrapa

Video produced by: Michael Leffler