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If you feel like video games today are "missing something," rest assured that Yakuza has originality in abundance. Elaborate back tattoos! Missing pinky fingers! Underage prostitution! Of course, it also has a patchy translation, clunky combat, and an sick fetish for repetitive fetch quests. It might not be the carefree vacation you'd hoped, but there's still plenty to keep one entertained in the sleazy underbelly of Tokyo.

A Lot's Changed Since You've Been Away

You're Kazuma Kiryu, a disgraced former yakuza who got thrown in jail for doing the unthinkable: you killed the head of your crime family. That's what everyone thinks, anyway. In reality, you took the rap for your best friend. But now you're out of jail, back on the mean streets of Tokyo's seedy red-light district. Only now, every yakuza in the city wants to kill you. And the mystery of what happened ten years ago begins to unravel, with murderous results.

Yakuza's story is this action game's big draw. Carefully plotted and presented in gorgeous cinematic detail by the master craftsmen who gave the world Shenmue, it's an elaborate and often surprising trek through the Tokyo underworld. Pity the English translation isn't up to par. Much of it reads like a hyper-literal rush job on the original Japanese, and the parts that are jazzed up a bit are littered with inappropriate American urban street slang. Somehow, it doesn't sound right to hear any Japanese person -- thug may he be -- shouting "Was you bitchin' 'bout some trifling-ass sh*t, motherf***er?"

For all the fumblings of the written text, the English voiceover work isn't that bad. Sure, sometimes the characters mangle each other's name pronunciations, and little ten-year-old Haruka sounds more like twentysomething. But the main character's gravely, tired voice fits the world-weary Kazuma perfectly, and big names like Michael Madsen and Mark Hamill turn in decent supporting performances.

Punch Drunk

If this game is any indication, the life of a yakuza is mostly concerned with punching people in the face. Yakuza's gameplay is mostly comprised of melee combat. As you run around the streets, random thugs will get all up in your grill. You can dish out damage with your fists quite effectively, but there are also plenty of random weapons strewn about the street -- everything from beer crates to road cones.

The combat is, quite literally, a hit-and-miss affair. Sometimes you're reveling in the sheer brutality of the attacks. Feel free to take vicious delight in grabbing a bicycle off the street, slamming it onto the face of a prone enemy, then stomping on it to produce a sick cracking sound. Was that the bicycle or his nose? Who cares. But then, other times, while you're flailing around with your fists in mid-air because Kazuma just refuses to face the dude you're fighting, the feeling's more like disgust. Getting locked into a canned dial-a-combo and punching away at nothing happens way too often, even once you learn new moves later in the game.

Get Me Some Sake

You could just run straight through Yakuza's storyline and finish in a hurry. But you'll want to stop and take in the sights along the way. Yakuza's in-game world isn't large -- it's just a little tangle loosely (but not exactly) based on Tokyo's seedy Kabuki-cho district. But the labyrinthine network of wide main drags and tiny alleyways is packed full of restaurants, nightclubs, and shops.

They're also full of people -- many of whom will give you side quests. Sadly, most of them fall into one of two categories: punching people in the face, and fetch quests. The former is more of the same; the latter is just about running items back and forth. Yawn. Not even the mini-games in the "hostess bars" -- where you go on dates with young ladies and attempt to woo them -- are much fun. You're better off just sticking with the narrative.

Yakuza Wanted; Patience Required

If you're a sucker for Japanese gangster cinema, you'll likely be able to forgive Yakuza's many flaws long enough to get caught up in the riveting story line and cast of complex characters. But long before the end, you'll be sick of the repetitive combat that takes up far too much of Yakuza's gameplay time. And very, very sick of the word "motherf***er." Even Snakes on a Plane saved it for the end.

Article by: Chris Kohler
Video produced by: Matt Keil