G4TV

There are some MMOs, like Guild Wars, that cost something to buy but after that are totally free to play. Then there are MMOs, like Dungeon Runners, that are totally free to download and entirely free to play, but charge you if you want access to certain in-game items. Then there’s Pirates of the Caribbean Online, which is a lot like Dungeon Runners in that you can download and play for free. However, where that game offers plenty of action even for the non-subscribers, running around in Pirates without paying is little more than a tease, and a short one at that.

Pirates of the Box Office

This game is of course an interactive version of Disney’s suddenly hugely successful franchise of the same name. It doesn’t really follow the storyline of any of the movies closely, having originally been intended to launch at the same time as the second film but not actually seeing release until after the third. In the game, after crafting your pirate through an unnecessarily extensive character creation wizard, you find yourself in jail along side the notorious and perpetually inebriated Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp’s character in the films). Jack takes a liking to your new character and gives him a seemingly simple task before kicking the door of the prison down and running off in a hail of gunfire.

Within the next 30 minutes of gameplay you’ll have met virtual renditions of most of the major characters from the feature films, like Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swan (Keira Knightley). They’re encountered through a series of simple and seemingly pointless fetch-quests that are often completed inside of sixty seconds. The storyline promises mystery, intrigue, and voodoo. This is all delivered largely through short cut-scenes that make the most of the game’s lackluster graphics engine, backed by excellent voice acting. They won’t wow visually, certainly not when compared to the feature films, but they are watchable.

The real problem is that just when you’re getting a real taste for the storyline you run smack into a “subscribe now to continue!” banner. This is a “free” game in that you can download and play the thing without typing in a credit card number or going to a store, which is a lovely thing. Cheap gamers, however, are forced to deal with a number of crippling limitations, starting with having to play the game in windowed mode, naturally framed with a series of banner advertisements.

The level cap for non-paying gamers is a measly eight, while skills for any given weapon can’t progress past level three. Initial weapons earned in the first few minutes of the game are all that are allowed to be equipped, and same goes for the tiny ship you’ll pilot, a little sloop that wasn’t exactly intended for open-sea combat. Voodoo (the game’s form of magic) is strictly off-limits, and again there’s that “subscribers only” banner that interrupts the storyline just a couple hours in. After this it’s $9.95 per month to continue (though only $4.95 for the first month), which is asking a lot considering the game’s other shortcomings.

What you Get

For that $9.95 a month you unfortunately don’t get a particularly polished gameplay experience. Lag is a constant problem, with characters and enemies often freezing in their tracks for a few moments before warping ahead to make up for time lost. The in-game visuals don’t impress at all; drab looking pirate avatars deliver nothing of the detail and interest of the big screen buccaneers. Land-based combat too is boring. Instead of the swashbuckling and sword fights in the films here you just click, click, and click some more to swing your cutlass or fire your pistol.

There are some positives here, though. Sea-based combat in ships is simplistic but weaving your vessel about to line up your opponent’s broadside is actually rather entertaining. In-game gambling is a nice touch too, where you can bet and win pretend in-game currency against other players in blackjack or poker, adding your winnings to your treasure chest. Like so many other features here, you’ll need to lay down some real money and subscribe if you want a real taste, with poker locked for non-subscribers.

Not a Bargain

Many MMOs fall right in at that $9.95 per month price point, and the vast majority of them offer a lot more than what can be found here. Even Dungeon Runners, which can be played totally for free, has a lot more going for it. It is possible to get a taste of the action here without paying, which is nice, but that taste is far too fleeting to really be worth your time. The first month at $4.95 is a reasonably good deal and worth considering for those looking to get a different perspective on the storylines played out in the films. After that first month is up, though, there’s just no reason to consider staying marooned on this island when there are so many other, greener lands out there ready and willing to suck up all of your free time.

Review by: Tim Stevens